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Top TV Execs Eye Bathroom Girls
(1 hour 25 minutes ago) Dave Chappelle split and the whole comedy industry was shaken up. As a result certain undiscovered, underground comedy geniuses' projects have landed on very talented and powerful peoples' desks.

"If Dave doesn't want the $50 mil to make a TV show, this greedy bitch will take it." said Yvonne Mojica creator of Bathroom Girls. She added, "I loved working for the show. Dave and his partner Neal Brennan were so nice to me, it was amazing! They regularly praised me for my work and always made a point to greet me with smiles and kindness. The thrid season was gonna be so funny and I couldn't wait to see it on air. So obviously Dave leaving totally devastated me until it put my selfish ass on the fast track to TV glory, so thanks Dave! You rock and I totally support your decision to leave. I can't wait to buy your new DVD, For All It's Worth."

Mojica acknowledges that she's been a controversial figure in the comics scene; legendary for cursing out critics on popular message boards, "I was hoping that they would fight back. I was surprised as everyone else that my words alone could cause them a mental breakdown." One critic, now hospitalized, shared their thoughts anonymously to avoid another round of Mojica's wrath, "I don't think she understands how hard I worked on that column or else she wouldn't have been so vicious. That column was 250 words! Does she even understand how hard it is to come up with 250 words about something I don't know crap about? I think she has no conscience to take my life's work and just rip it apart that way. If I could, I swear to God, I would have her killed."

At a comedy club downtown Yvonne, still wearing her Chappelle Show crew shirt downs her fifth ice-cold Captain and Coke. "Let that dumb ass no talent critic waste time dreaming of my death. I'm sure in the dream I die from boredom."